Thursday, 22 September 2016

Brat !!

I am experiencing something I haven't had since being a child... My brat ! 

So far i am getting myself all up in trouble for emojis in my texts to Sir such as 🙄😡😒😬

Last night, after a really well behaved day (if I say so myself ..... even Sir said I was good) I had a task of wrapping elastic bands around my left tit ! 

I had already been in trouble for not buying them when I was told, the day before.

So I bought elastic bands and new wooden spoons from Wilkos in Derby before I made my way to my friends for an underwater shoot that actually was a LOT of fun.

I was curious to how this would feel. I have never had any form of breast bondage, and was very open to try it... Well not all went to plan ...

For one the elastic bands are shit 😳🙄 they kept snapping while I was trying to get them over my boob, I had managed to get 8 on my right boob and it looked a bit like the pic Sir sent me so I was quite happy..... Then Sir informed me it was left boob tonight and right boob tomorrow 😡🙄 so I took them off ... And tried to do the same with my left boob!! 

Not happening so.... While Sir is happily counting down the time, I am becoming more and more perturbed and vexatious with these shite bands and my clear inability to complete this task 

Admittedly Sir gave me a way out ... Would I take it NOPE !!

So over the space of 30 minutes I managed to work myself up to 35 whacks with my oh so new wooden spoon or I had to bite the bullet, Sir even drafted the text to my friend K !!

And still I was being stubborn making my attitude evident with all the 😡😳😁😱😜🙄 emojis 

Finally I text K with the drafted message from Sir which led to a pretty hilarious exchange with my friend K who obvious would love to see me even more trouble the bitch 😂😂😂

Part of me was being playful, the other fearful and just a lil bit stubborn and pouty 

I should have just trusted Him and sent the fucking text but oh no ... Why did I have to make it SO difficult 

Apparently it's because I "need" the punishment... He must be right (He is "always" right) since my pussy is always wet 😱

I felt awful when Sir made me cum, I said I didn't want to, that I felt I didn't deserve it.... His reply had me so wet and ready I came hard and quick, which obviously made me feel a right slut ! 

But he says He loves me for it ... I am His slut and I won't make the same mistakes again by questioning His feelings for me 😔 

My pussy and ass wouldn't take the punishment ...

Sunday, 18 September 2016

New Dom

So following an emotional time and s post on Fetlife, I began speaking to an online Dom, within days I was submitting to Him in ways I never have anyone else.

I realised that we have some seriously strong mental connection going on, like he was in my head. 

This week has been challenging to say the least....🙄

He pushes, he makes me face myself and what I want... And what I am afraid of 😔

I made a very bad mistake of telling him off for saying he loved me 😓

I didn't understand that someone who has never met me could do that, when people who I have loved and looked after for years struggled ... I was wrong ... Guess I am just lucky that he is online .... I think my ass would have been blistered for assuming I "knew" how he felt about that wonderful connection we have.

I realised I have done that with everyone pushed them away as soon as I feel anything for them or them for me 😔 I am truly sorry for that.

The word surrender kept coming up lots.... Until one night I broke.... I chose to trust him - it wasn't easy .... He knew shit about me he couldn't possibly have just "known" and I mean not just random shit either 

He is VERY strict, but so kind and fair too....

I am happy I am his 😘❤️

Friday, 16 September 2016

Broken, owned...

You are what I made you.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Like candy…hard, sweet, and mine for the taking.
Mine to chew up or swallow whole.
Mine to give away as I see fit.
Mine, never yours.  

You are what I made you.
Nothing before, what I say after.
I’ll write your future on your skin, in your blood.
Mine to command, to torment.
Mine, never yours.  

You are what I made you.
You say yes, never no.
Like a willing pet…obedient and faithful.
Mine to kick or love at my leisure.
Mine, never yours. 

Author unknown 

Wednesday, 24 August 2016

BDSM is about,,,,,,

What is BDSM?

BDSM is about Honesty.
-Being honest about what we are into,
-Being honest in what we want out of BDSM
-Being honest in what we wish to try
- Being honest with our past
- Being honest enough to swallow our pride if we screwed up

BDSM is about Communication
- Communicate our needs, wants and desires
- Communicate our limits
- Communicate our intentions
- Communicate when we are wanting something different

BDSM is about Trust
- Trust your partner with your life and well being
- Trust that we will not joke about or out each other
- Trust that we are being honest with each other at all times
- Trust that our partner will not abuse our relationship for their own motivation

BDSM is about Respect
- Respect that our limits are there for a reason,
- Respect that we all have some baggage,
- Respect that there are things that may come up,
- Respect that others may not have the same views,
- Respect other lifestyles and kinks if they are not our own

By Caitlin Boeing

Wednesday, 17 August 2016

What I would give ...

I always have had to be strong, feminine but strong, and it tires me at times, I can get very anxious, I hide it well, but it comes on me like an express train, one minute I am calm the next I am panicking and cant breathe, pains in my chest and my eyes wide.  What I would give for someone to lean on that was stronger than I, more able than I and wiser than I.

Life as a single parent, can be tough, It has made me hard and cynical even, often the bitch rises in me, the lioness ready to roar.  What I would give for a Lion of a man.

Being intelligent can mean I am confident and independent in thoughts and word.  I can have a sharp tongue, and can be very willful and if I am honest a bit bratty (I have not until recently considered myself a brat, but on honest reflection I can see I am at times.  What I would give to have that brat tamed.

Assignment - Punishment Cards

1.  Lecture
i hate these, the rail against my inner core - i have to fight the deep desire to argue back, to defend myself, and yet ultimately i have to face my transgressions honestly
2.  Corner Time
since i find it very difficult to sit or stand still for any length of time. This would be seriously tedious and drive me crazy very easily
3.Corner Time Extra
in addition to normal corner time, i read somehwhere that the Dom can place a coin or similar on the wall and tie his sub’s hands, she must hold the coin there with her nose if it falls then they must be punished further.
4. Gag
i am used to being verbally free to argue my case, to defend myself and the thought of being gagged as a punishment is not one i would like
5. Eye Contact
To be forced to make eye contact or not to make eye contact is one that makes me deeply nervous.  Eyes and looking into someones eyes represents respect, equality and submission and repentance. It makes me emotionally face up to “stuff”
6. Collar
To have the privilege of wearing Master’s collar removed for a period must be very upsetting, I remember when my sister had to hand over her talisman and how upset she was - i wouldn’t like to feel that way,  
7. Restricted from Scene
the thought of being forced to watch my sister serves You Master, during a scene, while i myself am not allowed this privilege. would be very painful
8. Writing Essays About...
Without a doubt one of the worst punishments, totally tedious and stressful
9.  Writing lines
Apart from pi i haven’t heard any other sub say they like lines. i hated them as a girl, and i would consider them a punishment.
10. Shaving
Bae’s Master stopped her from shaving as a punishment, its been so long since i didn’t shave, it would seem wrong, and i know she didnt like it one bit, so i think this would be a punishment
11. Crawling
the slave/sub not permitted to walk upright, and must crawl.
12. The Crop
there is a HUGE difference to a punishment spanking and an erotic one - counting the strikes too
13. Restrictions - Computer
To be restricted from personal use of the computer, no social media, surfing etc
14. Rice
Kneeling on rice for a set amount of time, say 30 minutes.
15. Unpleasant Chores
Cleaning the oven, toilets, carpets… something mind numbing, gives time to reflect upon the incident which gave rise to the punishment
16. Sleeping on the Floor
Reinforces the submissive state, and puts the submissive in their place, by removing privileges which are everyday for vanilla relationships
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17. No Internet
After the past few days, with not being able to get onto the PC and read/write and answer emails, do assignments and diary believe me this is punishment :(
18 Cold Showers
Urgh, I hate cold showers, so to be doused in cold water for a few minutes to cool off would not be pleasant at all, this was something that was done in my boarding school as a punishment.
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19. Begging
Makes me want to cry just thinking of being forced to beg for anything.
20. Public Apology
The realisation that I have messed up is bad enough - to apologise privately is one thing, but to
21. Eating out of a Bowl
Not easy to do, degrading being reduced to an animal
22. Public Spanking
Very embarrassing, humiliating
23. Foot/Feet Spanking
My feet are very sensitive and reading soft’s account in her diary scare the begeebers out of me
24. Belt Spanking
Brings up awful memories, although the thought is arousing the reality isnt.
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25. Flogging
Past the point of being pleasurable, along with the guilt and knowledge that I messed up and displeased you
26. Refusal
not being permitted to have an orgasm.
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27. Forced Orgasm
Nothing to do with pleasure, everything to do with being controlled and dominated, and punished and humiliated
28. Displaying
It is very humiliating to have to display your most private parts especially with the added knowledge of wrong-doing
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29. Spanking with a Cane
Past the point of being pleasurable, along with the guilt and knowledge that I messed up and displeased you
30. Punishment Sex
the guilt and knowledge that I messed up and displeased you, as well as being penetrated and vulnerable.
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31. Public Display
Photos or videos being made public as a punishment would be unbearable under some circumstances
32. Pegs
is there any more to be said

Essay Assignment - The Art of Fellatio

The Art Of Fellatio

"Great sex will get your car note paid, but great head will get you a house."

Fellatio, head, blowjob and in tantra it is called “honouring the lingham” There are many names for the act that most men LOVE., It is apparently one of mens favourite “things”,  I have had a lot of quite frank conversations with some of my friends regarding this essay and I was surprised at how the responses, all had done it, some still did, most did it begrudingly, a few liked doing it but not the swallowing part and only me and one other said they enjoyed everything about it.

There is something about the act of fellatio, that allows a man to express his masculinity and dominance. and personally i believe that giving to a man by licking and sucking his cock to orgasm, is one of the most powerful ways we give not simply physical pleasure but psychological pleasure too as its also a sign of our acceptance of and submission of and to the receiver.

Giving a blowjob offers us the opportunity for a whole new level of pleasure, and should not be looked upon as a chore, it should be a pleasurable experience for both those involved.  

It helps to have lots of saliva, to lick the shaft up and down, to flick the tongue over the sensitive frenulum and to get it all wet and messy.  

I love to form the “O” shape with the mouth, as i take the penis into my mouth, swirling my tongue around the tip while stroking the shaft with my hands, synchornising with my mouth, while maybe massaging the sensitive balls softly at the same time, giving a very gentle squeeze and stroking the prostate area while sucking and licking seems to give some men a lot of pleasure.

It is important to pay attention to the whole cock, not just the head. using the tongue as well as suction from the mouth. Just as good is to alternate speed when, focusing the mouth on the head, and over the rim of the penis.  Some like tight suction and others not so, some like it slow and others prefer fast, nearly all like it messy and noisy, and anything else which shows them the giver is getting as much plkeasrure as they are.

Another deeply arousing thing for me, nevermind the man is to look into his eyes, to see his reactions, feel his cock twitching, hear him talk dirty or just moan and growl, is amazing, to have a man hold on for dear life, and grip your hair while urging you further is very hot.

Taking the cock deep into the mouth and past the point of gagging, seems to be good for lots of men, not all time just sometimes.

A powerful sign of acceptance is showing the man that him coming in your mouth is your top priority, and to swallow his cum seems to mean a lot to many men and some women too, it is important to remember that when he does start to come not to stop and  suck until he's completely drained..

And always swallow with a smile. :)